Trying to trust in the process

As (what I believe to be) the result of squatting with my feet out too wide, and after trying for consistently increasing, heavy progress as mentioned in my first post, I’ve managed to bust something in my groin, right side. Nothing brutal, nothing to take me totally out of action, but a weird twinging feeling at the top of my right leg that is awkward and hurts and basically meant that I’ve had to cut back and drop the weight for my back squat all the way back down to 65kg.

And I’ve been upset, frustrated and disappointed. A 30% decline from my recent personal best, and no likelihood of getting back there any time soon.

Then I stopped, and I realised, that this is a perfect example for me to practice my discipline and my trust. Trusting in the process, stepping back when I need to, adjusting and readjusting and starting again. Because I remembered, earlier this year I fell over skiing at about walking speed, and totally wrecked my left shoulder. And without even really thinking about it, I’ve been slowly working on it, building up some strength again, trying to carefully repair and get back to the point where I have no pain and not accepting anything as a permanent setback. And today, as I once again sighed at the lower plateau that I’m stuck at with the squat, I realised that I’m almost (not quite) pain free in my left shoulder.

Then a few minutes later I hit my personal best for the deadlift, 5 x Which is more reps, at heavier weight, than I’ve ever achieved before, even when I was making my most consistent training efforts during crossfit, and I know I have plenty left in this lift before I really max out.

And the lesson for myself, I think, is that even as I was focused on the negatives (a forced deload in one lift, disappointment, etc), I’d been failing to notice and appreciate my subtle, consistent, positive progress in other areas. I’ve been treating this one – minor, temporary – setback as though it was somehow unduly important, when in the long run, this is going to be just a tiny bullshit speed bump in my progress. So now, I’m focusing more on better squat technique so I’ll be better next time, I’m building up again, and I’m stronger in other areas than I have ever been.

So my intention now is to take this lesson, and apply it not just to my 5×5 training, but to a few other projects that I have going on – to reinvigorate the process and not be distracted or derailed by small speed bumps.


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